life

Home Repairs and Parenting: A Grandparent’s Experience

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Will life ever be smooth-flowing? After constantly contacting CYFD (New Mexico’s department for protecting kids) for information (i.e., is there a class for parenting troubled kids?) for almost three years and never getting a response, I did something stupid. I emailed them with a demand for help or information. Result: they came out to investigate, decided Grandpa and I were “abusive,” and moved the kids to my single daughter’s house.

Did you know that time-outs are considered torture and that scolding is now illegal? They claim that “calmly discussing” things with children will get the desired results. Now I understand why so many kids have absolutely no clue what discipline is, or how to handle the word “no,” or how to overcome disappointment — and go to school with guns to shoot teachers!

In the almost three years we’ve had them, these grandkids went from being feral (as described by the therapist) to being half-way decent people. They were taught how to eat using silverware at a table with the whole family (something they knew nothing about), how to use the toilet (they were still wetting their pants and bed at age 7), how to say things like “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me,” and learned to do things like read, cursive writing, and feeding animals. Yes, they still have major issues due to the horrible circumstances of their past, but the difference is like night and day. And my single daughter with limited income is doing her best with them, including fun.

Until CYFD decides what they want to do, the entire family is in limbo. A decision was supposed to have been made within 21 days, but its now been three months. This means the poor kids do not know from day-to-day what is going to happen next, they have no food stamps or benefits, no medical appointments; and for emergencies, Grandpa and I have to pay cash for anything they might need, including Emergency Room visits. Meanwhile, the bills pile up and we wait for the government to release those poor kids and us before we can move forward.

Rather than sit and fret, Grandpa and I have focused on winterizing the house and working on repairs. The exterior walls were a mess even before we moved in, but new cracks had shown up. Just look at the progress!!

Here’s some of the “before” pictures:

Compare with the half-way point:

And now the finished product.

It was all done with the base paint we had acquired before the kids arrived. We hope to be able to save up enough to buy some paint to finish the job this spring. The section of wall that was missing stucco now has foam sheets and plywood. We are planning on installing a front door there in the spring.

How about a light brick color for the walls? We’re not sure yet. We’ll need about 20-25 gallons of paint for that, and we really don’t want to mess up on the color!

Any suggestions?

Life with Grandkids: Adventures and Gardening

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Every time I think life will settle down a little, things just get crazier. Its amazing how three grandkids can make life so much more “interesting.”

Easter came and went. Of course that meant we absolutely had to join in some of the festivities, at school and out. One of the things we did was go to a community Easter egg hunt. Our pre-teen, Jordan, tried to be nonchalant about the affair. Amazingly, he ended up having fun despite being “too old” for such nonsense (he’s 12).

The 7 & 8-year old (Jazzy & Jojo) were more than happy to show their enthusiasm, before, during and after. Notice the stoic 12-year-old with Grandpa behind the bunny. It was wintry, but it sure was fun!

Then came the school activities as they prepared for summer break. Jordan starts middle school this year, so the elementary school held a Promotion Celebration. He was so proud to be an “upper class man.” Now he’s looking ahead to being on a basketball team once school starts. Personally, I’m thinking Grandpa will be the proudest and will be the one taking him to all the practice sessions. We plan on dragging all the kids to the actual games. After all, we have to be there to cheer our team on, right?

The weather finally broke and warmed up, so have prepped the garden area. This meant turning the soil over and mixing in all the compost we’ve been generating. While starting seedlings in the trays, we have also started working on the herb/flower garden as well. Step one: set up the border with a pebbled walk-way.

We discovered an earlier property owner had acquired a ton of pebbles that were dumped into two large piles. Over the years the large piles eroded and spread, but were concentrated in one large area.

So, the kids and I are gathering all the stones by hand. We then put them in buckets and cans. Once the future walkway is cleared and prepped, we dump our latest collection on the liner.

When not helping me with the gardening, the kids while away their time in the yard. They play on the swing set, play ball or run around the yard with the dogs. I received the wonderful gift of a Siberian Husky (named N’Mush). I had several non-Husky owners tell me that huskies are too dangerous for children. Well, here’s a picture of my Killer Canine after the kids finally stopped playing tag with the dogs. Be afraid, be very afraid!!

During all this I have to cook everyday for five people on a very limited budget. Plus, I don’t want to repeat the same thing night after night. There’s this one cookbook that has saved my butt and I love it. It tells me to use ingredients that don’t cost a fortune like so many other cookbooks. It is primarily a “vegan” cookbook, but I add meat to most (hamburger, chicken, etc.). Even better, I can find everything at any grocery store. It cracks me up that the kids are telling their friends that Grandma makes “gourmet” food! LOL

The book is called “Earth Song Cookbook.” I love the large print, so I don’t have to squint or keep taking my glasses off & on. Its on Amazon (click the book name for more info) and I am telling everybody about it. I think part of the reason I love it is all the information it provides with the ingredient list. It tells what vitamins and stuff everything has and how it helps build good health. Let us not forget the most important thing: the food is absolutely delicious!!

I’ve recruited the kids in doing my blogs. They are eager to “edit and create” and they have me working on the next one already. As a result, I’ll probably do a lot better in keeping up regularly!