From Chaos to Comfort: Our Family’s New Normal

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Since the last time I posted so much has happened that it makes my head spin. In quick summary, we received full custody of three grandkids in April 2023. This meant all work on the homestead had to come to a temporary halt. To complicate everything, my Mom passed away in November 2023 (will be doing a tribute to her here at a later date).

When the kids first came to live with us (picture of the day custody was finalized), they were an emotional and mental train wreck. At their young age, they had already faced:

  • Seeing their dad pass away (cancer),
  • Living with their gambling, addicted mother out of an abandoned, stolen vehicle for about four months before she abandoned them at a hotel,
  • Having all their funds (their dad’s insurance and pension money) stolen by a foster caretaker before being abandoned again, and then
  • Being separated from each other while they went house-to-house in the foster care system.

With me and Grandpa, they had to learn new things, like:

  • Home cooked meals did not come out of a bag or barrel and are a good thing,
  • How to eat at a table as a family every night and how to use silverware,
  • How to clean off and fix a bed (beds are not for hiding toys and food), and
  • Normal hygiene (i.e., how to wash their entire body in a tub/shower) and brush their teeth.

Jazzy (the youngest and a girl) was almost 6 years old and still not using the toilet. These few details were just a few of the challenges we faced. So, all work on the homestead came to a complete grinding halt.

Their first Christmas had them not being able to sleep the night before. They knew their Uncle, Auntie and cousins were coming by for a huge present opening fest. They had presents with their names piled up around a Christmas tree!

Two years later they now believe they are entitled to have regular hot meals, are doing great in school and most of the major hurtles have been overcome. They are still fearful about the lack of food. So, we keep the pantry and refrigerator/freezer locked, but they know that snacks and meals are consistent and predictable. Snacks are just not available at any time — as in, no snacks 30 minutes before dinner.

They now know what its like to have family attend a school function. They even had a birthday party at an amusement park.

We want to tackle a camping trip this summer with tents and sleeping bags and meals cooked on a grill in the middle of nowhere. I hope they don’t relive the nightmare of street living, but instead see that tents and sleeping bags for camping can be fun.

We also plan to work on the homestead again. First on the list is prepping the garden areas. All three think this work is so much fun. They helped to pick and shop for seeds and are learning about companion gardening. Plus, they are learning the traditional Native American way of planting. So much to teach them and they are loving it (at least so far). The chance to dig in the dirt and get filthy-dirty seems to be the biggest thrill!

Now that things are settling into a basic routine (with everyone helping with chores), my little blog will hopefully be up and running again!

Building a Future

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We have been able to accomplish three major goals in the last month!

First, our solar farm. We will be paying for it the next 10 years, but we know within three years it will be significantly cheaper than the utility payment. Jim had to clear out the area where it was to be erected.

On day one, the contractor (Solaris) brought in some heavy equipment to lay the electrical lines underground, hook up the electrical box, and start setting up everything to mount the panels.

When the panels were finally mounted and everything was done, we learned we have to wait for the inspector to come out before we can turn everything on and start using our solar power. Egads, I’m excited to start accessing our investment, so the delay is maddening.

The other major development is being able to see the grandkids after being stonewalled by the San Felipe Pueblo for over five years. Jim is not Native and I’m from a different Pueblo, so they were not happy about allowing us to even talk to them. Under normal circumstance, we would have custody of them after their Dad’s death and their Mom being unable to care for them at the moment. The kids are half Native, so the San Felipe Pueblo intervened and the ensuing nightmare for the family began.

Jim looked so handsome in his suit when we went to court for the visitation hearing.

Although we only get to see or talk to the kids every other weekend, having visitation with them every other weekend is a thrill.

This first weekend we had Mom with us too because she has not been able to see them either. Such a blessing to reunite them with their Mom. I tried to stay in the background as much as possible in order to give Mom and the three kids a chance to re-bond. We get them again this coming weekend, and we are so excited about it!

The last major accomplishment was finishing up the grandkids’ room and making them curtains. A gender-neutral fabric was chosen, thick light-blocking/thermal lining was sewn in, tie-backs sewn and everything was mounted. It took almost three weeks of constant work to get it all done.

I love the results of this last month! Now to finish up the chicken/pig run and their “house” plus get the garden started…..